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HODL Till the End
Rise of Bitcoin Life Insurance
Archie Royce
May 02, 2025
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Death, Taxes, and Bitcoin 💰️
Ah yes, 2012—the year the world didn’t end, but Cyprus’s banks nearly did. When the financial system melted faster than a gas station ice cream sandwich, people scrambled to protect their savings from disappearing into the bureaucratic void.
Amid the chaos, a mysterious digital currency called Bitcoin stepped out of the shadows. No banks, no middlemen, no government freeze-ray. Just you, your private keys, and a new way to stick it to the system.
Fast forward to today: Bitcoin is no longer just a basement hobby. It's wormed its way into Wall Street portfolios, El Salvador’s GDP, and now—brace yourself—life insurance.
Yes, you read that right. Life insurance. Paid in Bitcoin.
Introducing Meanwhile 🪂
Meet Meanwhile, the Bitcoin-based life insurance startup that asked, “What if we took something boring and made it... crypto?” Founded in 2022 by Zac Townsend and Max Gasner, Meanwhile aims to reimagine life insurance using Bitcoin’s greatest hits: decentralization, long-term growth potential, and the ability to confuse your grandparents.
Backed by Sam Altman and Google's Gradient Ventures, Meanwhile has already raised over $60 million (or roughly 12.5 Bitcoin, depending on when you read this). Their most recent cash infusion? A cool $40 million Series A led by Fulgar Ventures and Framework. Because when you're reinventing insurance, it helps to have a war chest—and a sense of humor.
The Product 🧾
Meanwhile’s flagship product is whole life insurance... but make it crypto. Here’s how it works:
Premiums in BTC: You pay your premiums in Bitcoin over about ten years. That’s right—no dollars, no fiat. Just good ol’ fashioned internet money.
Death benefit in BTC: If you shuffle off this mortal coil, your loved ones receive a payout in Bitcoin. And if Bitcoin’s price has doubled since you signed up? Well, someone’s going to Disneyland.
Borrow Against Your Policy: After two years of paying in, you can borrow up to 90% of the policy’s value without selling your BTC. That means no capital gains taxes, no sleepless nights, and no panic-selling during a market dip. You’re basically your own crypto bank. Just without the collapse (hopefully).
Tax Perks ☕️
Borrowing against your policy doesn’t trigger capital gains tax. Plus, it resets your cost basis. Translation: it might reduce your future tax bill if you eventually sell the Bitcoin after repaying the loan. Take that, IRS (just kidding, please don’t audit us).
But Wait ⏱️
Meanwhile handles custody too. So no, you don’t have to memorize a 24-word seed phrase or dig through junk drawers for your Trezor. Your Bitcoin is managed and passed along to your beneficiaries without drama. Unless you count “being dead” as drama.
Of course, this means trusting Meanwhile to manage your crypto. If you’re a hardline “not your keys, not your coins” maximalist, this might trigger your decentralization allergy.
The Fine Print 🖨️
Bitcoin is still volatile. If wild price swings make you queasy, this isn’t your jam.
Regulation is still a moving target. Meanwhile is licensed in Bermuda (because of course), but rules elsewhere could change faster than Bitcoin’s price during an Elon Musk tweet.
The Take Away 🥡
Meanwhile isn’t just duct-taping crypto onto traditional finance—it’s trying to build something new entirely. If you’re into Bitcoin, estate planning, and not dying (or at least preparing for it with style), this could be your ultimate crossover event.
Just remember: this is not financial advice, we’re not your financial advisors, and if your investment strategy is based entirely on sarcasm, please reconsider.
Still, if you’re ready to HODL into the afterlife… Meanwhile’s got you covered.
Welcome to the weird, wonderful future of finance.
The Next Wave? 🌊
Remember when Bitcoin was just a fringe fantasy for basement-dwelling coders and gold-hoarding libertarians? Well, it’s grown up. Now it’s a global macro asset, tangled in the same financial web as interest rates, bond yields, and central bank mood swings. Progress?
Loves Liquidity 🚿
Here’s the deal: Bitcoin loves liquidity. Not Evian. We're talking global money sloshing around the financial system. When liquidity flows freely, Bitcoin soars like it just discovered energy drinks. But when that flow dries up — say, during a recession, a trade war, or a bond market tantrum — Bitcoin curls up into the fetal position like the rest of us.
But—and here’s the twist—pain leads to printing.
When markets freak out and bond yields go full drama queen, central banks often step in to “calm things down” (read: throw money at the problem). The U.S. Federal Reserve, in particular, is famous for reaching into its bottomless bag of rate cuts and liquidity injections. And when that money printer goes brrr, Bitcoin typically says moooon.
Storms and Cycles ⛈️
Now for the juicy part: on April 9, Bitcoin pulled off a rather attractive bounce above $80,000. This wasn’t your average Tuesday pump. It may have marked the end of a 320-day cycle — the crypto equivalent of emerging from hibernation, rubbing its eyes, and wondering what it missed.
Crypto runs on these cycles. Think of them like mood swings: roughly every four years, Bitcoin goes through emotional seasons — euphoria, despair, denial, repeat. Right now, we may be entering the spring phase. You know, before it all goes off the rails again.
Blue Line of Glory? 📘
To confirm that we’re really entering the next uptrend and not just getting catfished by a price spike, traders are obsessing over something called the 80-day momentum line. Picture a moody blue squiggle on a chart that determines whether Bitcoin’s rally has legs or is just stretching before another flop.
A clean break above this line could signal the final, glorious leg of Bitcoin’s four-year cycle. Translation: full send to $100K.
Yes. No. Maybe. 👑
If momentum holds, and if liquidity gets another boost from central banks babysitting the bond market, $100K isn’t just hopium — it’s a possible next stop on this wildly unstable train. Beyond that? Anyone’s guess. Could be $150K. Could be $30K and a lot of crying in Discord channels.
Watch the Skies 🌤️
This isn’t financial advice. It’s a market weather report. Right now, the clouds are parting, and the breeze smells faintly of bull. If you’ve been sitting on the sidelines in cash, muttering “it’s too late,” now might be a good time to, you know, pay attention.
Bitcoin isn’t just flirting with a rally. It might be asking you to dance. Whether it leads you to $100K bliss or straight off a cliff — well, that’s what makes it fun.
Buckle up.
COIN SPOTLIGHT 🔍️
Follow the Smart Money 💵
Yes, Bitcoin cooled off. About $100 billion in market cap packed its bags and vanished since December. Sad, right?
Not really.
Despite the pullback, crypto’s still flexing with a $2.8 trillion market cap — roughly the GDP of France. And no, that money didn’t all leave. Most of it just moved to a new party: DeFi.
That weird, rebellious corner of crypto where users don’t need banks, brokers, or any middlemen. Just code, coins, and chaos.
Where the Fees Flow
Currently worth $90 billion and raking in $50 million in fees daily, DeFi isn’t dying — it’s thriving. That’s impressive for something that basically didn’t exist five years ago. But here’s the real question: Where is all that money actually going?
Short answer: follow the users. They’ll always lead you to the next big thing… or at least to something that isn’t completely on fire.
Trends Worth Watching
The Old Guard
After dabbling in every shiny new chain under the sun, users are crawling back to the classics — chains that don’t break every time there’s a meme rally.
Take Solana: It’s seeing a big revival thanks to liquid staking momentum and a 10% spike in active users — in one week. Even Hyperliquid (yes, it sounds like a Mountain Dew flavor) saw user growth jump 26% in a week and its total value locked (TVL) climb 50% in a month.
Turns out battle-tested platforms still have some fight left.Boom or Bust?
Berachain shot to the top 10 by DeFi TVL faster than you can say “decentralized zoo.” But here’s the catch: 90% of its liquidity came from a handful of whale wallets. That's not exactly organic growth — more like a party funded by three rich guys and a dog coin.
Its token has already dropped 50%, and users are starting to ghost it. So… will Berachain stabilize, or will it be the next cautionary tale in your favorite crypto subreddit?The Real Deal
Enter Spark. Instead of just sitting there pretending to be money, it offers yield. Real, actual yield.
With 95% monthly growth, Spark and similar protocols are proving people want their coins to work — not just sit there looking stable.Stay Agile
Platforms like AAVE and Euler are hedging their bets by spreading across multiple chains. Smart. Because when one network inevitably crashes or gets hacked for the 12th time, their protocol still lives to fight another day.
Diversification isn’t just for boomers anymore.
The Recap
Ethereum: Still the grown-up in the room, but slowing down. Great for suits and institutions.
Solana: Cheaper, faster, more fun — and possibly fueled by caffeine and TikTok.
BSC: The gateway drug between CeFi and DeFi. Say what you will — it still gets traffic.
Berachain: Currently in existential crisis mode.
Hyperliquid: Dark horse of the summer. Don’t sleep on it.
What Now?
If you're building, investing, or just lurking, this stuff matters. Watching where users and liquidity go is like having tomorrow’s headlines — minus the clickbait.
Where the money flows, opportunity follows. Just don’t be the last one into the hot tub — or you’ll be the one holding the towel.
STAGE RIGHT 🎬️
NOTABLE QUOTES 📚️
“Never do anything with a bad intention, for the consequences will always be disastrous.”
— Thomas Paine
GARAGE LOGIC ☕️
Define Normal 🔣
Why is AG Ms. Bondi preening on Fox News when she should be banging-out subpoenas and arrest warrants, you ask? And what broom-closet is Dan Bongino hiding in over at the Hoover Building? How is Hillary Clinton still at-large in the land? Does Alejandro Mayorkas still make his Saturday excursions to the boutiques along M Street? Looks like the months of May and June are setting up to be the season of shocks and consequence.
READ THE FULL STORY.