Crypto’s Quiet Boom

Altcoins are Napping

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GET IT RIGHT 🎯 

Where’s the Mania? 🥂 

So, Bitcoin just pulled off a record-breaking $935 million day—in spot ETF inflows alone. No balloons. No marching bands. No Reddit threads screaming “WE’RE BACK BABY.”

Just quiet, methodical buying.

If this had happened in 2021, your cousin would’ve quit his job to become a “crypto lifestyle influencer” and tried to sell you a course on X (formerly known as Twitter). But today? The Crypto Fear & Greed Index is sitting at a mellow 66. That’s technically “Greed,” but not greed greed. Not Lambo-on-a-credit-card greed. Just a polite, “Would you like some Bitcoin with your diversified portfolio?” kind of greed.

A Calm Rally 🌊 

Remember the Q4 2024 run? Bitcoin went vertical. It was like watching someone light fireworks inside a Tesla factory—chaotic, explosive, and very expensive.

But this time? It’s calm. Measured. Almost…mature? We’re seeing healthy price moves followed by actual breathers. You know—like a market that isn’t run by FOMO-addicted sleep-deprived apes.

This isn’t just a vibe shift—it’s textbook sustainable. And sustainable rallies don’t just climb higher… they climb longer. (You know, like the opposite of your last relationship.)

Shiny Objects 🔆 

Want to know what this reminds me of? Gold. That boring old thing your grandparents hoarded. Since late 2022, gold has doubled in value. It added a casual $10 trillion in market cap—basically three Nvidias—and the world yawned.

Bitcoin is walking that same path. Quietly crushing it while the media is too busy chasing whatever AI drama or tariff tantrum is trending today.

No viral TikToks. No stories about teenagers buying islands with their Doge profits. Just slow, calculated, institutional buying.

Which means... no one’s watching. And in crypto, that’s where the real money’s made.

No Fireworks? 🧨 

Here’s the thing. Historically, altcoins lag Bitcoin’s big run. Then they wake up. And when they do, it’s not a gentle stretch—it’s a caffeine-fueled, quadruple-backflip out of bed.

So yes, Bitcoin’s booming. But the altcoin show is just getting started. And when it starts, it won’t be subtle. Think less “slow dance” and more “shirtless guy on a jet ski.”

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Bitcoin’s Plot Twist 🔀 

Not long ago, mentioning “blockchain” in polite company earned you eye-rolls or questions about drug dealers on the dark web. In 2016, buying Bitcoin could get your bank account frozen. Today? Banks are getting fined for not embracing crypto. That’s what we call a plot twist.

What was once a nerdy rebellion is now flirting with central bank status. And the next chapter? One word (okay, two): trade settlement.

No Borders ⛰️ 

Let’s give gold its due. For thousands of years, it ruled the world. Everyone agreed it was valuable, and it didn’t come with interest rates, printing presses, or Janet Yellen speeches.

But here’s the thing: gold is heavy. It's slow. It's basically the dial-up modem of value transfer. Want to move a billion dollars in gold? Hope you’ve got a few trucks, a private army, and insurance that covers “pirate attack.

Now picture Bitcoin. No vaults. No borders. No middlemen. Just a digital asset that zips around the globe faster than your cousin's hot take on X (Twitter? Whatever it’s called now).

The Dollar Killer? 💵 

The U.S. dollar has had a hell of a run. For nearly 100 years, it’s been the grease in the gears of global trade. But it came with a superpower: the U.S. could run wild deficits, and the rest of the world had to grin and bear it—because everyone needed dollars.

But that grip is loosening. Trade wars, sanctions, and a general “ew” vibe around trusting foreign governments are pushing nations to seek something neutral.

That’s where Bitcoin waltzes in—offering gold’s trust, the dollar’s liquidity, and the cold, unbiased logic of math.

It’s unforgeable. Unstoppable. And most importantly, it doesn’t come with a central bank trying to micromanage your economy into a coma.

Hard to Control 🎛️ 

Two words: bureaucratic inertia. The dollar is still the healthiest corpse in the fiat funeral home. But global trust is eroding fast, and once people realize Bitcoin doesn’t take sides, they’ll come knocking.

Bitcoin isn’t American. Or Chinese. Or tied to anyone’s inflation “target.” It’s code. Cold, uncaring, glorious code. It doesn’t care who you are—it just settles transactions, quickly, permanently, and without asking permission.

In a world where no one trusts anyone (and for good reason), the only real option is something trustless. Bitcoin is the Switzerland of money—neutral, peaceful, and infuriatingly hard to control.

Its supply is fixed. Its network is global. Its market cap is already flirting with $1 trillion even while governments throw shade and regulation at it.

Now imagine what happens when they stop fighting it and start adopting it.

Global settlement. Decentralized reserves. Value flows in the tens of trillions.

And to think—it all started with internet nerds trading magic internet money for pizza.


COIN SPOTLIGHT 🔍️ 

Top Five Crypto Sectors  🎩  

Crypto’s a weird place. One week everyone’s selling kidney stones to buy the next memecoin, and the next, the market’s pretending to care about fundamentals. So, what’s really working right now?

We crunched the last 30 days of sector performance, and the results are a delightful combo of “duh,” “huh,” and “are you serious?” Let’s dive into the top 5 sectors melting faces (and portfolios) this month.

Top 5 Best Performers

  1. Artificial Intelligence: +76.2% 🧠 

    Big shocker—robots are winning again.

    Despite a supposedly risk-averse market, AI tokens laughed in the face of caution and sprinted straight to the top. Leading the charge: $VIRTUAL, $KAITO, and $AI16Z—all more than doubled. Because when in doubt, bet on Skynet.

Top Performing AI Coins

  1. Memecoins: +74.3% 🐩 

    You’d think investors would grow tired of cartoon dogs and frog coins. You’d be wrong.

    Memecoins posted an unhinged +74.3% return. Apparently, “value” is overrated when you can 3x off a coin called FluffyShiba420. As always, logic left the chat—and the internet loved it.

  2. NFT Applications: +69.2% 🎨 

    Now here’s the curveball.

    NFT Applications came out of nowhere with a +69.2% gain. And no, we’re not talking about overpriced JPEGs of rocks. In this case, it means tokens tied to actual NFT marketplaces and projects. Think: Pudgy Penguins. Yes, those Pudgy Penguins—up 210% in a month.

    Who knew cartoon penguins would outperform your retirement fund?

  3. Staking Services: +60.6% 🔐 

    Ah yes, something that makes sense.

    With macro chaos still brewing, investors are locking down yield wherever they can get it. Staking services offer that sweet, sweet passive income—no memes required. These projects actually have working models and real value. Imagine that.

  4. Ethereum: +58.3% ⛓️ 

    And last but never least: good ol’ ETH.

    Ethereum itself—not the L2s, not the wannabes—just the OG chain racked up +58.3%. Most of it happened in the last week too, which might be your cue that the big boys are waking up again. No fireworks, just blockchain brilliance doing its thing.

The Takeaway 🥡 

Let’s be honest: some of these winners (AI, ETH, staking) were predictable. Others (memecoins and NFT apps)? Total plot twist.

Moral of the story? If you’re not tracking sector performance regularly, you’re basically trading with oven mitts on. Sector momentum shifts fast—and if you catch it early, you don’t just ride the wave… you surf it with laser eyes.

Here’s your challenge: start paying attention. Not just to Bitcoin’s price, but to where the capital is actually flowing. Next time a surprise sector pops 60%, you’ll already be there, sipping digital margaritas on your metaverse yacht. At least, that’s the game plan, right?


STAGE RIGHT 🎬️     


NOTABLE QUOTES 📚️ 

“The more society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it.”
 
George Orwell


GARAGE LOGIC ☕️

Hollywood’s Worst Fear? 🏦 

In tracking the capabilities of various AI companies and the capabilities, one of the more interesting has been the advancement of AI video. The newest game changer? Google just introduced its Veo 3, and I think we might have a new king of AI video generation, and what's more, I don't see how Hollywood doesn't see this and begin having anxiety attacks. 

READ THE FULL STORY.


FINAL SPIN 📽️ 


LAST CHAPTER 📺️ 

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